CORRECTIONS:

Dear Kevin,

        As you know, Next Monday is June’s 35th birthday.

→ GOOD SENTENCE (Just don't put the greeting and the first sentence together on one line.)

That's why I am preparing a dinner party for June.

→We don't normally start a sentence with "so, but, etc... " / use article "a"  / use preposition "for" because the party is intended to belong to June (June' birthday party.)

I would like to extend this birthday party invitation to you in celebration of June’s 35th birthday.

→GOOD SENTENCE

Well, I guess our friendship started in grade school.

→GOOD SENTENCE

At that time, he was the class president, we have fond memories of playing with each other.

→ use "the" because there's a specific person / "have" instead of had since you still hold the memories until now & omit "the" / use -ing when talking about activities

We have many old friends in elementary. /  **combine with the previous statement**

At that time, he was the class president and we had a lot of friends. We have fond memories of playing with each other.

→ I changed the organization of those sentences to avoid confusing statements.

After all these years, I would like to see you and have a good time "together with" June.

→ change the organization and preposition

I humbly invite you to join me in celebrating his birthday to be held at my house

→GOOD SENTENCE

Time : 06:00 P.M.

Place : W apartment which is located in Gangnamgu right next to A subway station

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Hi Mr. Woo! 

 I noticed that you could construct some good sentences. Just keep on practicing for further improvements. Take care!

> Teacher Liz <