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제목 | Hobby 1 | 등록일 | 2015-12-11 |
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내용 | My favorite hobby is playing soccer. and i spent about 8 hours last month. Playing soccer is good for my health. I became interested in my hooby through my friends. He has many hobbies such as soccer and baseball and so on. When trying to new hbbies, i would find out about them through the internet. It is easy to get useful information such as riviews, comments and needed equipments and so on. so i would find out about new hobbies by on line. |
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담당강사 | Chase | 등록일 | 2015-12-11 |
첨삭 내용 | My favorite hobby is playing soccer. and i spent about 8 hours last month. Playing soccer is good for my health. I became interested in my hooby through my friends. He has many hobbies such as soccer and baseball and so on. When trying to new hbbies, i would find out about them through the internet. It is easy to get useful information such as riviews, comments and needed equipments and so on. so i would find out about new hobbies by on line. ========================================================================================================================================================================== My favorite hobby is playing soccer and I spent about 8 hours playing last month. Playing soccer is good for my health. I became interested in my hobby through my friend. He has many hobbies such as soccer and baseball and so on. When trying to new hbbies, I would find out about them through the internet. It is easy to get useful information such as riviews, comments and needed equipments and so on, so I look for new hobbies online.
COMPARISON: 1.You said: My favorite hobby is playing soccer. and i spent about 8 hours last month. ->Please say: My favorite hobby is playing soccer and I spent about 8 hours playing last month.
2.You said:I became interested in my hooby through my friends. He.. ->Please say: I became interested in my hobby through my friend. He..
3.You said: When trying to new hbbies, i would find out about them through the internet. ->Please say: When trying new hobbies, I would find out about them through the internet.
4.You said: It is easy to get useful information from riviews, comments and needed equipments and so on. so i would find out about new hobbies by on line. ->Please say: It is easy to get useful information such as riviews, comments and needed equipments and so on, so I look for new hobbies online. -Hi, Mr. Antonio! Please be more mindful of your typographical errors and capitalization. Have a good day!
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