There are numerous real estate agents in Korea so that you can easily find one on the street or some region. To rent a house, you should first decide what region you want to live in, how much your budget is and what kind of house you want to rent for example apartment, condominium and so on. And then you can call them or visit that office. If you call the realtor for renting a house, I guess he/she answer you “come on, we already have many houses for you to look for. Visit us anytime.” so I suggest that you visit the office to see if they really have good houses to introduce to you. If you visit the office and explain what house you want, they will show you the list of houses that are within the range of your budget and they can introduce to you. If you choose a house you want, they will take you to the house for you to view it. You can see structure of it and check its condition.

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-> There are numerous real estate agents in Korea, so that you can easily find one on the street or some region. -- (use a comma /,/ to separate clauses)->

-> And Then you can call them or visit that office. (Avoid starting your sentence with /and/)

-> If you call the realtor for renting a house, I guess he/she will tell you that they have many houses for you to look at, so you can visit them anytime. Therefore, I suggest that you visit the office to see if they really have good houses to show you. (Learn to use pronouns, so you don't have to include any script in your sentence. If the sentence is too long, divide it into two sentences.)

-> If you visit the office and explain what house you want, they will show you the list of houses that are within the range of your budget and they can introduce to you. (Redundant)

-> You can see its structure and condition.

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Hi James,

Thank you for sending your composition. I hope you take note of your corrections, as I noticed you still commit the same lapses you made on your last writing. Please be mindful. Remember that spoken English is different from written English. You have to be more mindful of your construction. See you in class!